Valentine's Day

Arz kiya hai

Jahaan itne valentine nikal gaye, 

wahaan ek aur jod do,

Mathematical induction lagaao,

aur aagey ki ummeed bhi chhod do ;-)


Courtesy: Akshay Johri

An awesome video, to sum it up

P.S. This is my shortest post

On This Day....

On this day,
i wish you certain simple delights,
may the time ahead be free of fights,
"In the City of Blinding Lights"

u dont have to walk that extra mile
and all your Code Compiles,
Even if this poem doesnt rhyme
Remember "Its all about The Climb"

u get to see your favourite 'Friends' Episode
and flowers bloom in your garden,
You turn on the TV and watch the movie you've longed for
and Come across someone who you really adore
After all " Yeh Dil Maange More"

u Get to see the beautiful sunrise
and a full moon in the dark night.
u get a discount at your favourite mall,
and the song playing in the background is "You're my wonderwall"

u hear a PJ and laugh out loud
and a visit to the beach without the crowd,
When caught by a traffic cop, you dont have to pay
Well, Well "You've took my heart away"

u dance in the rain and stomp in the puddles
And No one dare muddles,
In a garden you get the last Swing
Hell Yeah "I dont want to miss a thing"

u wake up early and realise you have more time
No,waking up at 12 isnt a Crime.
Do that one thing you always wished to do When you were small
But I've realised "You Say it best when you say nothing at all"

See the Paper full of Topics You Studied,
And smile secretly knowing yeah I've Done it
Rock on the stage in the College Fest
hmmmm I have it "All In My Head"

Look at the sky and feel someones looking at it too,
Alas "Everything i do i do it for You"
I'd "Write you a song" For No Particular reason
Hope it brings some smiles for you this Season.

P.S.

I know there are certain "Things I'll Never Say",
All i am doing is "Hanging By the Moment"
This was Just My Imagination
But Now I am on "Cloud Number Nine"

SOCIAL NOTWORKING

In just a few short years, social networking sites like Facebook, Orkut and

Twitter have soared to the top of the online traffic charts, replacing traditional favorites and causing us to entirely rethink the Internet's potential and future.

We're experiencing a degree of interconnectedness never before seen. And it's only going to get increase. Forget cocktail parties, because this is socialising en masse!

However, we must keep in mind that this new social networking culture demands a few rules of etiquette and common courtesy.

But what happens when all etiquette flies out the window?

You get the 20 most annoying social networking personalities, presented here for your perusal!

Ms Minutiae

You fire up the social networking website of choice, and what's the first thing you confront? Roughly 46 consecutive messages from Ms Minutiae, who has thankfully decided to document EVERY EXCRUCIATING MINUTE of her boring existence: 'is hungry', 'wants a sandwich', 'made a sandwich, pretty good', 'watching Scrubs', 'time for bed?', 'yep, time for bed'...AHHH!

Mr Stalker

You've only met this guy a few times in 'real' life. You know him, but not really. Of course, that hasn't stopped him from entrenching himself in your 'virtual' life. Post a few photos online, and in a few hours he's commented on every picture in every album! And every time you log on, he's there to send you an instant 'instant message' -- 'what's up?' or 'how are u?' Frighteningly, he knows your schedule better than you do. Be afraid!

Mr. Make Frandship

Girls, you know what we're talking about. This guy is downright infamous in India. He doesn't know you at all, but still 'entices' you with his scary, blurry profile pic and pleas 'to make fraandship'. Next, please.

Ms Tag-Awful-Photos-of-Everyone

Out at the party, and maybe had a few too many? Never fear, this girl is there to capture you in the most compromising positions! Of course, the next morning she'll be sure to post the pics online and 'tag' you, even before you get over your with it

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Ms Application Invite

Purple-starred teddy bears, chocolate cupcakes, hugs, new name generators, stupid quizzes etc. No matter how many times you turn down her invitation to join the 'People who forget they are People' group, she'll dutifully re-send it the following week, along with seven other invites. Just give up already. Your inbox has been taken over!

Mr Gym Rat

'Just ran 7 kms and did some abs. Feel the burn.' 'Is excited to pump iron for two hours tonight.' 'Is eating raw whey protein and drinking grass juice.' Okay, dude. We get it. We're all very impressed and we'll be cheering you on in the upcoming triathlon. In the meantime, eat a pizza or something.

Mr and Mrs In Love

He loves his girlfriend. She loves him right back, muah! They write messages like, 'Misses his super beautiful princess more than anything in the world!', 'Is the luckiest girl in the whole world, with the most handsome husband' and 'Will love his pumpkin pie till his dying days!' Um, thanks guys. Next time, do you mind not re-sharing your nuptials on the Internet? Thanks.

Mr and Mrs In-And-Out-Of-Love

On the flipside is this loony couple, who fight like cats and dogs, each and every day. You know you're dealing with some certifiable nutcases, because thrice a week, their 'relationship status' changes: 'single', 'engaged', 'confused', 'it's complicated', 'single', 'engaged' etc. And it always seems to end with professions of love and fidelity for all to see. I'm sensing a pattern here...

Mr. Political

Always seemed like a timid enough guy. But now you're privy to the inner recesses of his mind. And it ain't pretty! Rants, ravings, notes, quotes from obscure philosophers etc. Hey, buddy, passion's a good thing. But a 17,000 word tome on the crumbling civic society of India, brought on by market reforms and a bad education system? Write to Tehelka or something.

Ms New Mom

'Shafin walked today!', 'Ate two baby carrots!', 'Had carrot-coloured crap' and so on. Look, new mom, we all know you're incredibly, incredibly excited. But we, on the other hand, are completely uninterested in learning about the consistency of little Junior's poo. Do you see the conflict of interests here?

Ms Hates My Job/ Teacher/ Life

'Had the worst day EVER!!!!!', 'Despises her new professor', 'Wondering, 'Why me, God?'. Yep, it's the whiney, self-important complainer! Yes, dear, we know you are looking for a bit of sympathy. But every day? Every hour? Go for a walk. You don't need validation electronically.

Mr Geriatric

Nothing like the super uncool uncle crashing the party to destroy the atmosphere. Now, never fear, his game of sabotage can be done online! You and your friends have a funny thread going, full of biting wit and inside jokes? Here comes Ole Uncle, to post: 'Hi guys! 2 Funny!' GROAN. Also, his own wall is peppered with the same message, from 15 different school-age friends. 'Wow, Rahul, is it really you? I haven't seen you in 29 years! This FaceBookings things is AMAZING!'

Mr. Random Surfer

Doesn't really use the service. Has 29 friends. And replies, four months after your birthday wishes, 'Thanks. Sorry. Didn't see your message. Don't get the Facebook craze. Gimme a call sometime if you want to meet'. Okay, great. Take your stand against digitised friendship. But, in the meantime, delete your account already! Would you leave your voice message box full for months on end, without calling anyone back? Nope. Why not? It's rude. Plain and simple.

Mr Spelling Fail

'WOTTT??? UR KIDDING? CRAIZYNISS!' 'GNG TO SKOOL 2 MEAT MA FRIENDZ!' 'YOUR JOKIN. ARE GAME IZ 2MORRO.' Take a breath (not a breathe), and crack open those Standard I text books. It's time to put the friends on hold. Learning the basics is priority number one, friend.

Mr. Know It All

Conversely, there's this brainiac. 'Actually, the population of Australia is less than 25 million.' 'Actually, the spelling is corroborator, not corroborater.' 'Actually, the climate of Argentina is less tropical than you'd imagine. Ever hear of Padigonia?' Okay, bud. Next time I'm scheduled to appear for a GK quiz, I know who to call. But met ME call YOU.

Ms Know-them-all

One thousand, three hundred and two friends? Really? Would you even be able to pick these people out of a police line-up? Bumping into someone once at a random conference doesn't constitute 'friendship'. No one's impressed, because we all know that a super-high number of friends online usually correlates with a super-low cool quotient.

Mr Gamer

FarmVille King, Scrabble Champion, Mafia Don Extraordinaire, Texas Hold'em Poker pin. Ever check the timings, when this guy's insanely high scores are posted? A 24-hour period -- on a work day -- usually looks something like this: 3:12 am, 5:09 am, 3:11 pm, 11:48 pm, 2:55 am etc. Somebody's setting himself up to get fired. Sleep -- try it. It's pretty important.

Mr Reporter

Why thank you, young citizen journalist. Without your timely posts, I'd never had found out that: 'Michael Jackson has died! OMG! RIP!', 'A cyclone is approaching Mumbai', 'Obama speaking in Cairo right now', 'Industrial Growth lower than expected', and so on. Hey, when I want the news, I'll go to a news site. Until then, go to journalism school.

Mr Profound Lyrics

So that's why I sailed down to Memphis, with a black cat by my side " Um, guy, posting vague lyrics from 1970s-era hits doesn't make you a rock star. Also, thanks for sharing that screechy, blurry video of The Police playing live in rural Scotland in 1979. Rock on!

Mr Tireless Self Promoter

'So and so suggested you become a fan of www.funnypicturesofcatsincostumes.com', 'so and so suggested you become a friend of the band Twisted Wretched Agony'... Again. Look, we're all really impressed you've tested out your entrepreneurial hand with a great humour web site. And I'm sure you're new band is the cat's whiskers. But I really don't want to be bombarded by borderline-spam from one of my semi-friends. It's just...awkward.

P.S. Gender is mentioned on a random basis...I'm nt a chauvinist.

P.P.S --- Thanks to rediff for the awesome article.

My Tryst With Poetry( Part 2) --- That Look Is Killing Me

Ahh ! That Look Of yours Is Killing me

the one, when you play with your hair

and you don't seem to be aware

that someone is getting killed

Ahh! that look of yours, I am so thrilled

Ahh! That Look of yours Is Killing Me

The one, when you walk around

without a sigh or a sound, I tell you my joy knew no bounds

And then you sit relaxed

Ahh! that look of yours,my heart beats get axed.

Ahh! That Look of Yours Is Killing me

The One, When You Smile Secretly

And that's the moment for me, Its so precious

Do You ever realize ?

Ahh! That look of yours, Thats what every guy would idealize.

Ahh! That Look of Yours is Killing Me

The One, with the tied hair'

Ohh I swear !

What if tomorrow never comes, I wonder

Will holding back, be my biggest blunder ?

Ahh! That Look Of Your is Killing Me

Killing Me, Killing Me,Killing Me....

The Hitchiker's Guide To End Trimesters/ Semesters

Lately i have noticed a certain grimness entering my classmates. So its the time of the year ( it comes thrice -- due to trimester) when you realise that "there ARE only (X) days left before we i start emptying my Ball Point Pen's Ink. ( At times i wonder the pen might be feeling so lonely, so unused with a guy like me )

The feeling :

Just keep going, don't break down now, you are mortgaging your body with lack of sleep and too much effort, but keep going, you only have a little bit left, and then you can sleep kind of thing. Does that sound familiar?

Yes it does.

so finally its the time of the year when you will be caught with

1) making the last ditch effort( chits, asking your friend to write the test on behalf of you--that again depends if he himself hasn't screwed his)( YES, It works in MPSTME) to get a good score in the 2nd test, coz u screwed/missed/bunked the 1st one

2) you will be finishing the assignment which ought to be submitted a month ago, but outta your laziness u didn't care about it

3) or either you would be spending sleepless nights making presentation for some subject, as your professor( a narcissist) suddenly had some divine intervention and decided to have the last few chapters as a self study.

4)there is also a chance THAT YOU WOULD BE PESTERING YOUR CR/SR TO further postpone the submissions/tests and giving that poor chap a hard time in dealing with the teachers.

5) Ahh how can i forget the submissions.Well they are called Practicals.But what we finally do is we take pieces of paper, A Pen( Ideally you should use two coloured pens--- Black for the headings, and blue for the internal content)and a pencil ( if u dont care about diagrams--lets be oblivious to that part ).PRACTICALS HAVE MORE THEORY THAN THEORY ITSELF.

I can offer a Ticket to the latest Movie to anyone who proves that more ink was consumed while taking notes in class than in writing practicals.

See it proves my point.

6) And in the meanwhile some Great Students Like Me, Who work on the principles of Rockets ( Yes we work only when our ass is on fire ) recall its the end of a trimester. Another Three Months Spent in Doing Nothing.

( Wake Me Up When Trimester Ends)

7) So what else happens during these times to the Avearge JOE in the class

a) He's always worried that someone submitting everything before time and the prof would further lessen his already neagtive grades due to the delay on his part.

b) He's worried that some another student would have gone on a rapport building excercise with the prof(jus before the exams) and would have some imp ques or topics marked  which again would not be relayed to the class.( competing for GPA)

8) Suddenly the library is full of students, completing assignments, journals, making presentations.

You Play musical chairs in the library( for lack of chairs).

Bags are Piled up outside and u better be good at treasure hunt to find yours.

9)Xerox --- Nobel Prize for Peace Should be given to the guy who made this wonder. Peace because he has done so much to bring repose and serenity to the life of the students. Life would have been so Difficult Without Xerox. Imagine notes, Books, Practicals.

10)Sleep Deprivation will be high at this time. Also Your Mind Wanders The Most In the Times Of the Exam.

The Laws Of Exam:

a) The probability of a the prettiest girl sitting besides you in library is the highest when you have the toughest exam next day.

b) The probability of you waking up at 5.00 am to complete your half unfinished portion is almost like expecting a Jet to Land on the ROCKY MOUNTAINS.

c) The probability of the compulsory question being the one you studied is 50 percent.

d) The probability of the an easy invigilator coming to your Exam Room Is Less than the probability Of Someone Monstrorous.

e) The Probability of SomeOne asking a supplementary Before You and You Left Wondering ( HOW ???) is very very high.

f) The Probability Of the You Not Getting a Rickshaw, Lift Not Working, Trains Getting Late also increases drastically during the days of examinations.

g) The Probability Of THe Person Coming For an Exam Without Bathing is On the Higher Sides If They Come From a Certain Place.( Read Between The Lines)

h) The Probability Of The Average Loser (The Median Student) troubling, whispering you for the question you dont know is at its all time high.

i) The Most Sought After Book In The Library Will Be Gone Long Back( WAKE UP SID).

j) The probability of your High School Crush or College Crush Coming Online On the day of exam is 50% ( Again depends if you have a geeky crush or a non- geeky crush, a localite or non-localite) . So start Studying And Dont Wait In Anticipation.

K) THE MOST IMPORTANT LAW: NEXT TIME SE SAB KUCH PEHLE SE KAROONGA.

My Tryst With Poetry --- Widout U

Widout u ... Mumbai falls asleep;

Widout u ... The roads are empty;

Widout u ... The Sun cant be bright;

Widout u ... The moonlight not white;

Widout u ... Cloud disappears slowly;

Widout u ... Trees forget the winds;

Widout u ... There ain't no stars;

Widout u ... Night is chagrined;

Widout u ... The rains I detest;

Widout u ... My joys disappear in thin air;

Widout u ... Hours are days;

Widout u ... Casablanca seems boring;

Widout u ... Its the lonely walk;

Widout u ... Thoughts prevent me from going to bed;

Widout u ... I don’t distinguish the horizon ahead;

Widout u ... There are no heavens;

Widout u ... Time forgets it reasons;

Widout u ... Am afraid of the last day;

Widout u ... Haze conceals the splendid ocean;

Widout u ... I don’t figure or picture anything pleasant;

Widout u ... I am wondering this ques @ dis moment;

When should i let the cat outta the bag...

I better don't post it here …Samaj Mein Aa Raha Hain ??