Be Real , Be Smart - Without the Smartphone

Why do I forget things these days ?
Why cant I recall 10 cellphone nos these days ?

Just in case you are reading this on that 4'x 2' device , the answers to these questions lie in the palm of your hand. This is the smartphone, silly human effect.

May 2000: It was the fist time I was going out to a movie with my school friends. The movie was "Hera Pheri". Back then, waiting for someone meant " Standing and waiting".

Moving on to 2013, we have moved on from waiting to staring..at the smartphone.

- Gimme a miss call once you reach ABC place
- Whats app me once you leave from your place
- Or god forbid if you reach some place and your friends haven't reached you call them " Kahaan hai yaar ! Kitni der "

So what does one do to kill time while waiting ?
" Stare at your phone "

The other day, I hopped into an auto and started staring on my phone. The typical whats app, fb, twitter, economic times etc.
The auto guy initiated the conversation. He started:

" Beta, 20 saal se auto chala raha hoon. But 2-3 saal se kaafi kuch badal gaya hai. Log aaj kal auto main baithte hi, apne mobile mein lag jaate hai. Jaise mobile hi

unki duniya ho. Jaisa aas pass to kuch hai hi nahi. Pehle in sab se baat karta tha.
Main kuch apne kisse batata tha. Par aaj kal agar main kuch baat karne lagun to logon ko disturbing lagta hai. Sab apne phone mein mast hai "

This got me thinking and I begun  relating to the auto guy. Just see across a busy street. What are people doing. "Staring at their phones". Board the bus. Board the metro. Walk into a restaurant. Walk into a library.
Stand in a queue. The same thing everywhere.

People having " Real -time communication with artificial device"
What are we getting into ?  Is that day near when we'll have our mom whatsapping us :
 " Food ready. Come onto the dinning table" .

I shudder at this thought. Just imagine earlier days.
Travelling in the auto people would talk to the auto guy. Get to know his views. Learn about his life. How difficult it is to  be at the bottom of the pyramid  in a big city like Mumbai ? Or just look outside

 " How the municipal guys are working hard to clear the water that has filled up the street"

" How the old lady has been trying to cross the street "

" How the sapling that was planted last monsoon has now turned into a tree "

We are missing out on tons and tons of things. By being connected virtually, we are getting disconnected to where we actually are. To our surroundings. To our families. To our friends.

Have you lately met your old friends in a cafe ? After taking all the time and effort to meet them why would one stare into the phone and laugh at a stupid joke sent over IM's.

What about talking and sharing things with those who are actually hanging out with you. And by hanging out I didn't mean Google Hangouts please !!

Aren't we bombarded with all the "tings tangs...zing zing " as soon as the plane lands. To tell you those 3 hrs without the phone are actually when I have got some of the best thoughts. Times when I decided what to do with my career, life ...basically time to introspect.

- The age of forgetfulness: Our memories are diminishing. Just compare your memory with your grand ma or parents. They can easily count 100-200 people who are to be invited for a function on their tips !

We need to check Facebook for that.
Sorry I don't recall the clients name. But I have him right here on my Linkedin !
Ahh that place that serves delicious Sarso da saag ? What was it. Let me just check it on Zomato.

Do we really need to be that connected with the world ?

Isn't the instant communication, messaging doing more harm than good ? So many CEO's for example don't own a cell phone. Yet, they manage their tasks, manage businesses worth billions of dollars, keep in touch with their client etc.

What an advantage it is to not have one of the smart devices these days ! I am shortly gonna go back to a Nokia 1800.

- Great Battery Life
- Ruggedness
- Talk more with your family then on whatsapp( Connecting People indeed)
- No last seen at
- No emails in the middle of the night
- No pings and alerts

Research has proven that smartphone addiction has had disastrous results. Lack of concentration among children ( Attention Deficit Disorder), the constant urge to check whats happening in others life ( FOMP - Fear of Missing out), Trauma, decrease in academic performance, anxiety and death too.

Clearly apart from the physical problems such as headaches, tendinits, bursitis, fatigue the psychological effects are far worse.



Promise yourself :

- Not to check your mails, IMs while driving

- To respect others when you are out with them and not alienate yourself with your phone

- To have real conversations

- And please stop discussing about virtual life ( You posted that on Facebook, that tweet was awesome) in real life !! You are together with them. You don't need to discuss how amazing their profile picture was !!

- Stop using it in the bathroom. You are not deciding the fate of millions of citizens !

- Stop checking your mails, IMs in the middle of the night ! Have a good sleep !

- When you are walking on the beach or strolling in the garden, don't let your smartphone out ! No even if how much so ever beautiful the sunset might be !

- Make it clear that if something is urgent, people can always call you. Whatsapp, IM's aren't sacrosanct devices for URGENT Communications !!!

- We need to understand that all the apps affect us. They tax our attention. As humans, we can focus only on few tasks per day. Research has reveled that we aren't great at multitasking( although we think and feel we are). But the infinite loop of Facebook, twitter, LinkedIn, whats app and other notifications  fragments our attention and we don't concentrate on the important tasks.
To be honest, I  haven't checked my smartphone for 3 hrs now while I thought I will write this. Contemplation and Reflection takes time and they demand undivided attention.

Take time off your phones regularly. Dedicate regular intervals during the day in which you will respond to your mails, IMs, comments etc.

Its you who own a smartphone, ensure that it doesn't end up owning you

The Urge to Fit In

The Fit In Culture.

Some call it peer pressure, while others call it compromise. A few others call it adjustment, broad-mindedness, being open to change. All in all we all want to be accepted by the society, our peers, our friends, friends of friends and so on. In one word we want to "Fit In" and not be sidelined.

Fit In culture Instances

1) How many times have we laughed at a particular scene in a movie, (even if we don't find it funny) just because others do and we don't want them to think  "He is too dumb/ naive to comprehend the double-meaning words" or " He doesn't have a taste for funny films"

My thought: If only we could ban the word LOL. Everything is LOL these days. Damn

2) How many of us have had the courage to refuse spending 2000 bucks on the entry fee to club, knowing that there is hardly anything inside that will interest you ? Be it the blaring music or the hard drinks( for those of you who are a teetotalers)

My thought: For me the idea of having fun, goes beyond hanging out at the bar, being drunk, and clubbing.
So don't tell me that " Tu abhi yeh sab nahi karega to kab karega " Kabhi nahi. Karna hi nahi hai !


3) Ahh ! Uanchester Mnited Rocks !We are the champions !
Ask that dude to count 8 players of the team and he will succumb at 5. Ask him about the Busby babes and he'd think I am talking about some Pop band !

My thought: Not that I am against EPL, SPL. But dude can you name 5 Indians who have won medals at the Olympics ?

4) I got this new Gamsung Salaxy S |||. What operating system does it have ? So how is it different from S-2 The answer will be : " I don't care much about that stuff. It looks good. And it is a good show off on how technologically inclined I am and how updated I am "

My thought: I am a geek. I love technology. So if the plain reason your product is better than mine is because of the price tag associated with it , than sorry my friend borrow some brains and judging capacity.

5) " Dont tell me dude. You haven't seen How I met your Brother ?? Man, what are you ? A ascetic in the Himalayas or a nomad living in the Jungles of South East Asia "

My thought:  I don't want to know How did you meet my mother, father or brother or sister. Given a choice, I would never want you to meet any of them. Why is HIMYM prescribed in the syllabus ? or is it the next most important thing after Air and Water !

6) " What you rejected a job at Soldman Gachs to start up. Are you crazy ? Dont you intend to Pay off your loans ? Ah or you have a  richie rich dad ?

My thought: Man he has other interests. He wants to be a guitarist or a IAS officer. Let him chose his own way ? Who are you ? Nostradamus 36th Avatar to suggest ?


Again, don't get me wrong here. There is nothing wrong in trying to gel with the crowd, accept their views and try and find commonalities. But to change yourself completely so that others can accept you, is something that irks my nerve.

What happens with such fake behaviour is

- You lose yourself and become a materialistic, a mere showoff
- You tend to look down upon people who don't share similarities with you, rather than accept the fact that they have a different belief, have been brought up in a different way, and that they have their own principles by which they live by

One of my professors in college had shared a brilliant thought with us . He would say " Be a rebel. But don't be a revolutionary". Gandhi, Mandela all were rebels. They didn't take anything lying down or on its face value.

So you don't need to comply with everything the World says. Remember the The World is pretending.
Someone has rightly said" Those who matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter"
And lastly, as said in by santos in Satsang " Aag jeva thavu. Paani jeva nai " ( Be like the fire, not like water. Ref: Add colour in water and it changes it colour, but add colour in fire and the colour disappears"

Valentine's Day

Arz kiya hai

Jahaan itne valentine nikal gaye, 

wahaan ek aur jod do,

Mathematical induction lagaao,

aur aagey ki ummeed bhi chhod do ;-)


Courtesy: Akshay Johri

An awesome video, to sum it up

P.S. This is my shortest post

Randomness

Parashar Likes "I stay up late and i dont do anything productive"

The breeeze blowing past the window
The early morning door bell
The Late Night Walks
Gilbert Hill,Airport, and Juhu Beach from terrace
Frequent trips to Andheri Station, IRLA ...you get everything in this 100m lane
Chinese Food Stall
Movies at Chandan
Aaj Iska Case lete hain sessions
Gtalk Group Chat
Anderi Station,Vile-Parle Station...
Wearing Belt in the Lift,Socks in the Rickshaw, Hair who cares ?
Brushing Teeth after Bathing(RSB special)


Randomness ..It Once Prevailed

Uthh Jaa salle...DM ke pracs hai

aaj assignment submit karne ka last day tha kya ?

test postpone kara yaar...

yeh trisem mein to lag gayi...

Mass Bunk karte hai yaar....

Next test de denge...

Abey IP pe aana/ start karna ...

Chal Jani chalte hain...

Sounds so familiar, like it was just yesterday

There Used to be days when we used to say " Lets Meet and Plan sumthing"
Now we say " Lets Plan and Meet Sometime"...
Friends are the same, Feelings are Same, Life takes Control and Priorities Change...

So heres a word of advice to those still in college..

Appreciate those guys who do walk out at 2am with you for a snack, soon you will have doze off by then

Appreciate the Canteen, Its no fun watching Tendulkar hit a century on A LED TV when you are all alone

Appreciate the Roomie, who watches each Hindi Movie on a loud speaker, soon you will be left with no movies.

Appreciate the College Watchmen with whom you can strike a conversation on any random topic, Soon you will be left with Sirs and Madams

Appreciate the Library, you would soon forage for books you always thought could be issued any time you want

Appreciate the Football,FootBottle,FootDuster, Foot(anything), Soon all u'll be looking for is a footmassager.

Appreciate the Administration, Soon youll have difficult ones to deal

Appreciate the Proxies and Sleeps on Last Bench,
Soon you'll have a desk.( Otherwise do sumthing like DiCaprio in Inception -- After all he gets paid for sleeping and dreaming ...What a Job)

Appreciate the uncountable sharing of movies,songs,documentaries,ebooks,external harddrives etc.
Soon you wont be hearing IP chalu kar for months and months...

Appreciate the Indolence, Soon you may have to lose you days salary for it.

Appreciate the Timepass Sessions with the Group, soon  you'll have KT's(Knowledge Transfer Sessions)

Appreciate the Vivas, Soon you'll be left without answers

Appreciate the Momos Junction.

Appreciate the teachers , who do take a no,soon you'll have a boss, who wont take one.

Appreciate the Tapri, Soon you wont feel good hanging out alone

Appreciate the Fests, Events etc Soon these terms may be unfamiliar.

To sum it all Appreciate the Randomness...Soon everything will be mechanised, robotised, mundanised

On This Day....

On this day,
i wish you certain simple delights,
may the time ahead be free of fights,
"In the City of Blinding Lights"

u dont have to walk that extra mile
and all your Code Compiles,
Even if this poem doesnt rhyme
Remember "Its all about The Climb"

u get to see your favourite 'Friends' Episode
and flowers bloom in your garden,
You turn on the TV and watch the movie you've longed for
and Come across someone who you really adore
After all " Yeh Dil Maange More"

u Get to see the beautiful sunrise
and a full moon in the dark night.
u get a discount at your favourite mall,
and the song playing in the background is "You're my wonderwall"

u hear a PJ and laugh out loud
and a visit to the beach without the crowd,
When caught by a traffic cop, you dont have to pay
Well, Well "You've took my heart away"

u dance in the rain and stomp in the puddles
And No one dare muddles,
In a garden you get the last Swing
Hell Yeah "I dont want to miss a thing"

u wake up early and realise you have more time
No,waking up at 12 isnt a Crime.
Do that one thing you always wished to do When you were small
But I've realised "You Say it best when you say nothing at all"

See the Paper full of Topics You Studied,
And smile secretly knowing yeah I've Done it
Rock on the stage in the College Fest
hmmmm I have it "All In My Head"

Look at the sky and feel someones looking at it too,
Alas "Everything i do i do it for You"
I'd "Write you a song" For No Particular reason
Hope it brings some smiles for you this Season.

P.S.

I know there are certain "Things I'll Never Say",
All i am doing is "Hanging By the Moment"
This was Just My Imagination
But Now I am on "Cloud Number Nine"

Me Mumbaikar? If not then where else am i from?

Heartfelt Words From a Fellow Pal and a Proud Mumbaikar

Latest from MNS chief RT: 

“Just because one can write, read and speak Marathi does not entitle him to local jobs...For getting jobs in Mumbai, one has to be a Maharashtrian by birth. Just the knowledge of reading and writing the language will not do,” he said at a party meeting here... "

http://www.business-standard.com/india/news/give-jobs-only-to-those-born-in-maha-raj-thackeray/384368/

So earlier it was that somebody who has lived for a few years only can avail jobs in m'tra. 

Then it was doesn't matter if you live here since 1850, you need to know the language. Fair enough. (Though I doubt that MNC's offices in Chennai, Honolulu or Pakistan use any language other than English or their National Language, but lets leave that). 

Then it came that even people who know the language don't adhere to the culture and have a 'hindi' culture. whats that supposed to mean? 

If a person has been born (in bombay) and bred (in mumbai now and bombay earlier) we all know that person has a urban-city culture, which differs city to city, not state to state. Ask a person who lives in nagpur and ask a person who lives in mumbai whether they share the same culture. yeah i know the answers. forget about that - ask a person from pune and outskirts of pune whether they have the same culture, the answer is no. A resounding NO. even my own family has several cultures, for example if iv lived in mumbai all my life i might have a distant cousin who is in ladakh, but that doesnt make me any less mumbaiya, or him any less "wherever-hes-been-brought-up".

Latest statement from mr. RT is given above. it's weird. i hate to admit it, i just find it spectacularly super duper strange.

Thats a bit unfair for some tax-paying, law abiding people who hold maharashtra domicile's and call this city as their home, and then the home state will ostracize them...seriously, arguments and debate will always continue, thanks to politicians trying to use the policy of divide and rule and people getting swayed by emotion rather than thinking of the bigger picture which is called the republic of india. in fact i would want an attack by pakistan or india's million other enemies, just so that we unite.

being a mumbaikar (yes i love tendulkar, eat misal pav, love the city and its people, support Mumbai indians) im appalled by how many people support curbing jobs for people of other cultural origins, whom they happily thought of as 'next-door-neighbours', 'doodhwala's', 'paanwala's', 'watchmen', 'governtment/railway officer saab', etc etc

maharashtrans, to other indians, were basically known for the Maratha Regiment and Chattrapati Shivaji. Other than that Maharashtra was obviously known for Bollywood, Tendulkar and MUMBAI - the city of dreams.

We know what people think now. the words 'intolerant' and 'division' seem to be harped by politicians and the common man alike. hopefully this will reach an end.

Else our city of dreams will only turn into a nightmare.

2010

I want to , but i don't know when

Slap the people who always irritated me.

Pull out all the students attending classes and make them enjoy life and nature.

Do the crazy spiderman wala thing in class. if u have seen the video on facebook.

Read all the novels which I have missed reading.

Sleep and sleep and sleep

Get rid of all obligations.

Go to Mt.Kailash, Mansarovar, Andaman & Nicobar, Lakshwadeep and Leh & Ladakh.

Visit the most haunted place in India.

Ride to the most remote and highest place in the country

Educate one soul at least.

Express my love to somebody I did not have the guts to in my past.

Resolving as many conflicts as I can.

Start my own farm do kheti.

Go and meet all my teachers from school

Go back to all the secret places, nooks and corners that I cherished.

The Climb by Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"


Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking


But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high


There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose


Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb


The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking


I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going


And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on


'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose


Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!


There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose


Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!


Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

SOCIAL NOTWORKING

In just a few short years, social networking sites like Facebook, Orkut and

Twitter have soared to the top of the online traffic charts, replacing traditional favorites and causing us to entirely rethink the Internet's potential and future.

We're experiencing a degree of interconnectedness never before seen. And it's only going to get increase. Forget cocktail parties, because this is socialising en masse!

However, we must keep in mind that this new social networking culture demands a few rules of etiquette and common courtesy.

But what happens when all etiquette flies out the window?

You get the 20 most annoying social networking personalities, presented here for your perusal!

Ms Minutiae

You fire up the social networking website of choice, and what's the first thing you confront? Roughly 46 consecutive messages from Ms Minutiae, who has thankfully decided to document EVERY EXCRUCIATING MINUTE of her boring existence: 'is hungry', 'wants a sandwich', 'made a sandwich, pretty good', 'watching Scrubs', 'time for bed?', 'yep, time for bed'...AHHH!

Mr Stalker

You've only met this guy a few times in 'real' life. You know him, but not really. Of course, that hasn't stopped him from entrenching himself in your 'virtual' life. Post a few photos online, and in a few hours he's commented on every picture in every album! And every time you log on, he's there to send you an instant 'instant message' -- 'what's up?' or 'how are u?' Frighteningly, he knows your schedule better than you do. Be afraid!

Mr. Make Frandship

Girls, you know what we're talking about. This guy is downright infamous in India. He doesn't know you at all, but still 'entices' you with his scary, blurry profile pic and pleas 'to make fraandship'. Next, please.

Ms Tag-Awful-Photos-of-Everyone

Out at the party, and maybe had a few too many? Never fear, this girl is there to capture you in the most compromising positions! Of course, the next morning she'll be sure to post the pics online and 'tag' you, even before you get over your with it

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Ms Application Invite

Purple-starred teddy bears, chocolate cupcakes, hugs, new name generators, stupid quizzes etc. No matter how many times you turn down her invitation to join the 'People who forget they are People' group, she'll dutifully re-send it the following week, along with seven other invites. Just give up already. Your inbox has been taken over!

Mr Gym Rat

'Just ran 7 kms and did some abs. Feel the burn.' 'Is excited to pump iron for two hours tonight.' 'Is eating raw whey protein and drinking grass juice.' Okay, dude. We get it. We're all very impressed and we'll be cheering you on in the upcoming triathlon. In the meantime, eat a pizza or something.

Mr and Mrs In Love

He loves his girlfriend. She loves him right back, muah! They write messages like, 'Misses his super beautiful princess more than anything in the world!', 'Is the luckiest girl in the whole world, with the most handsome husband' and 'Will love his pumpkin pie till his dying days!' Um, thanks guys. Next time, do you mind not re-sharing your nuptials on the Internet? Thanks.

Mr and Mrs In-And-Out-Of-Love

On the flipside is this loony couple, who fight like cats and dogs, each and every day. You know you're dealing with some certifiable nutcases, because thrice a week, their 'relationship status' changes: 'single', 'engaged', 'confused', 'it's complicated', 'single', 'engaged' etc. And it always seems to end with professions of love and fidelity for all to see. I'm sensing a pattern here...

Mr. Political

Always seemed like a timid enough guy. But now you're privy to the inner recesses of his mind. And it ain't pretty! Rants, ravings, notes, quotes from obscure philosophers etc. Hey, buddy, passion's a good thing. But a 17,000 word tome on the crumbling civic society of India, brought on by market reforms and a bad education system? Write to Tehelka or something.

Ms New Mom

'Shafin walked today!', 'Ate two baby carrots!', 'Had carrot-coloured crap' and so on. Look, new mom, we all know you're incredibly, incredibly excited. But we, on the other hand, are completely uninterested in learning about the consistency of little Junior's poo. Do you see the conflict of interests here?

Ms Hates My Job/ Teacher/ Life

'Had the worst day EVER!!!!!', 'Despises her new professor', 'Wondering, 'Why me, God?'. Yep, it's the whiney, self-important complainer! Yes, dear, we know you are looking for a bit of sympathy. But every day? Every hour? Go for a walk. You don't need validation electronically.

Mr Geriatric

Nothing like the super uncool uncle crashing the party to destroy the atmosphere. Now, never fear, his game of sabotage can be done online! You and your friends have a funny thread going, full of biting wit and inside jokes? Here comes Ole Uncle, to post: 'Hi guys! 2 Funny!' GROAN. Also, his own wall is peppered with the same message, from 15 different school-age friends. 'Wow, Rahul, is it really you? I haven't seen you in 29 years! This FaceBookings things is AMAZING!'

Mr. Random Surfer

Doesn't really use the service. Has 29 friends. And replies, four months after your birthday wishes, 'Thanks. Sorry. Didn't see your message. Don't get the Facebook craze. Gimme a call sometime if you want to meet'. Okay, great. Take your stand against digitised friendship. But, in the meantime, delete your account already! Would you leave your voice message box full for months on end, without calling anyone back? Nope. Why not? It's rude. Plain and simple.

Mr Spelling Fail

'WOTTT??? UR KIDDING? CRAIZYNISS!' 'GNG TO SKOOL 2 MEAT MA FRIENDZ!' 'YOUR JOKIN. ARE GAME IZ 2MORRO.' Take a breath (not a breathe), and crack open those Standard I text books. It's time to put the friends on hold. Learning the basics is priority number one, friend.

Mr. Know It All

Conversely, there's this brainiac. 'Actually, the population of Australia is less than 25 million.' 'Actually, the spelling is corroborator, not corroborater.' 'Actually, the climate of Argentina is less tropical than you'd imagine. Ever hear of Padigonia?' Okay, bud. Next time I'm scheduled to appear for a GK quiz, I know who to call. But met ME call YOU.

Ms Know-them-all

One thousand, three hundred and two friends? Really? Would you even be able to pick these people out of a police line-up? Bumping into someone once at a random conference doesn't constitute 'friendship'. No one's impressed, because we all know that a super-high number of friends online usually correlates with a super-low cool quotient.

Mr Gamer

FarmVille King, Scrabble Champion, Mafia Don Extraordinaire, Texas Hold'em Poker pin. Ever check the timings, when this guy's insanely high scores are posted? A 24-hour period -- on a work day -- usually looks something like this: 3:12 am, 5:09 am, 3:11 pm, 11:48 pm, 2:55 am etc. Somebody's setting himself up to get fired. Sleep -- try it. It's pretty important.

Mr Reporter

Why thank you, young citizen journalist. Without your timely posts, I'd never had found out that: 'Michael Jackson has died! OMG! RIP!', 'A cyclone is approaching Mumbai', 'Obama speaking in Cairo right now', 'Industrial Growth lower than expected', and so on. Hey, when I want the news, I'll go to a news site. Until then, go to journalism school.

Mr Profound Lyrics

So that's why I sailed down to Memphis, with a black cat by my side " Um, guy, posting vague lyrics from 1970s-era hits doesn't make you a rock star. Also, thanks for sharing that screechy, blurry video of The Police playing live in rural Scotland in 1979. Rock on!

Mr Tireless Self Promoter

'So and so suggested you become a fan of www.funnypicturesofcatsincostumes.com', 'so and so suggested you become a friend of the band Twisted Wretched Agony'... Again. Look, we're all really impressed you've tested out your entrepreneurial hand with a great humour web site. And I'm sure you're new band is the cat's whiskers. But I really don't want to be bombarded by borderline-spam from one of my semi-friends. It's just...awkward.

P.S. Gender is mentioned on a random basis...I'm nt a chauvinist.

P.P.S --- Thanks to rediff for the awesome article.

Realizations

1.  I Have Learnt that you should Never Give UR Name to UR Pendrive...Can Get u into  trouble(ISM -- GAWDE)

2. I Have Learnt that "People Forget and Forgive". So Never have a Permanent
"36 ka aakada" with Anyone.

3. I Have Learnt that People you Care About the Most in Life go Away and all the Others Remain.

4. I Have Learnt that no Matter how Much u Care, Some People just dont deserve it.

5. I Have Learnt that you can Keep on Puking Long after you think "Its Almost Done"

6. I Have Learnt to "Be Specific" and ask " How Much Exactly is WALKING DISTANCE" the Person is Referring to. I mean I can Walk Up till Kanyakumari if I Want to.
What exactly is 'WALKING DISTANCE' a km , 3km , 5 km ???

7. I Have Learnt that Never Look Back after Breaking the Traffic Signal.

8. I Have Learnt that Never Ever tell urself "M Gonna Sleep Just for Half an Hour" When u Have to Catch a Train in 2hrs and u Havent Packed UR Bags.

9. I Have Learnt that " U Cant reach BORIVALI in 15 minutes from ANDHERI" even if it is 6am and u tell the Rickshawallah "I'll pay Double."

10. I Learnt it Long Back that in a Mumbai Local if Somene asks "BOSS, GOREGAON??" Dont be Oversmart and say that " Nai Abhi to MALAD Aaya Hai".
He's Asking If YOUUUUUUUU Want to Get Down at "GOREGAON" or Not.

11. I Have Learnt That if Someone Tells U
" I'll see What can i Do about It", Its a Negative Response( So Dont Expect)

12. I Have Learnt That " Some Songs Just Pop Up in UR Head at Wrong Times"
('Hey There Delilah' during Multimedia Systems exam
'Ami Je Tomar' frm "Bhool Bhulaiya" in DCOM )

13. I Have Learnt That "Never Make Promises if You Have the Slightest Doubt " coz they are just like Babies Fun to Make, Difficult to Deliver.

14. I Have Learnt That " Time Travels Faster than Light"(No Complex Scientific Reasoning Behind It Please.....).

15. I Have Learnt That "Baroda Cant have Beaches" and "Mumbai Cant have Sindhrot".

16. I Have Learnt That i can Listen "Seasons In The Sun -- Westlife" Forever.

17. I Have Learnt That "Some People do Have the Habit of Sleeping in their Balconies, Even if They have a 2BHK Apartment"
(Internal Joke --- 804,KRISHNA CHS)

18. I Have Just Learnt that "This Post is Getting too Far...and Many Would have Left it Half-way and Those who Would Reach Here, Will Take a Deep Yawn and Curse me For Wasting their Precious Time.

( No, They Couldnt have Already Slept)

P.S. : This Post was Written at 4 am ( and i am feeling more sleepy than You) just because I dont miss out on OCTOBER.
 
Till then BLOGTE RAHO !!

My Tryst With Poetry( Part 2) --- That Look Is Killing Me

Ahh ! That Look Of yours Is Killing me

the one, when you play with your hair

and you don't seem to be aware

that someone is getting killed

Ahh! that look of yours, I am so thrilled

Ahh! That Look of yours Is Killing Me

The one, when you walk around

without a sigh or a sound, I tell you my joy knew no bounds

And then you sit relaxed

Ahh! that look of yours,my heart beats get axed.

Ahh! That Look of Yours Is Killing me

The One, When You Smile Secretly

And that's the moment for me, Its so precious

Do You ever realize ?

Ahh! That look of yours, Thats what every guy would idealize.

Ahh! That Look of Yours is Killing Me

The One, with the tied hair'

Ohh I swear !

What if tomorrow never comes, I wonder

Will holding back, be my biggest blunder ?

Ahh! That Look Of Your is Killing Me

Killing Me, Killing Me,Killing Me....

The Hitchiker's Guide To End Trimesters/ Semesters

Lately i have noticed a certain grimness entering my classmates. So its the time of the year ( it comes thrice -- due to trimester) when you realise that "there ARE only (X) days left before we i start emptying my Ball Point Pen's Ink. ( At times i wonder the pen might be feeling so lonely, so unused with a guy like me )

The feeling :

Just keep going, don't break down now, you are mortgaging your body with lack of sleep and too much effort, but keep going, you only have a little bit left, and then you can sleep kind of thing. Does that sound familiar?

Yes it does.

so finally its the time of the year when you will be caught with

1) making the last ditch effort( chits, asking your friend to write the test on behalf of you--that again depends if he himself hasn't screwed his)( YES, It works in MPSTME) to get a good score in the 2nd test, coz u screwed/missed/bunked the 1st one

2) you will be finishing the assignment which ought to be submitted a month ago, but outta your laziness u didn't care about it

3) or either you would be spending sleepless nights making presentation for some subject, as your professor( a narcissist) suddenly had some divine intervention and decided to have the last few chapters as a self study.

4)there is also a chance THAT YOU WOULD BE PESTERING YOUR CR/SR TO further postpone the submissions/tests and giving that poor chap a hard time in dealing with the teachers.

5) Ahh how can i forget the submissions.Well they are called Practicals.But what we finally do is we take pieces of paper, A Pen( Ideally you should use two coloured pens--- Black for the headings, and blue for the internal content)and a pencil ( if u dont care about diagrams--lets be oblivious to that part ).PRACTICALS HAVE MORE THEORY THAN THEORY ITSELF.

I can offer a Ticket to the latest Movie to anyone who proves that more ink was consumed while taking notes in class than in writing practicals.

See it proves my point.

6) And in the meanwhile some Great Students Like Me, Who work on the principles of Rockets ( Yes we work only when our ass is on fire ) recall its the end of a trimester. Another Three Months Spent in Doing Nothing.

( Wake Me Up When Trimester Ends)

7) So what else happens during these times to the Avearge JOE in the class

a) He's always worried that someone submitting everything before time and the prof would further lessen his already neagtive grades due to the delay on his part.

b) He's worried that some another student would have gone on a rapport building excercise with the prof(jus before the exams) and would have some imp ques or topics marked  which again would not be relayed to the class.( competing for GPA)

8) Suddenly the library is full of students, completing assignments, journals, making presentations.

You Play musical chairs in the library( for lack of chairs).

Bags are Piled up outside and u better be good at treasure hunt to find yours.

9)Xerox --- Nobel Prize for Peace Should be given to the guy who made this wonder. Peace because he has done so much to bring repose and serenity to the life of the students. Life would have been so Difficult Without Xerox. Imagine notes, Books, Practicals.

10)Sleep Deprivation will be high at this time. Also Your Mind Wanders The Most In the Times Of the Exam.

The Laws Of Exam:

a) The probability of a the prettiest girl sitting besides you in library is the highest when you have the toughest exam next day.

b) The probability of you waking up at 5.00 am to complete your half unfinished portion is almost like expecting a Jet to Land on the ROCKY MOUNTAINS.

c) The probability of the compulsory question being the one you studied is 50 percent.

d) The probability of the an easy invigilator coming to your Exam Room Is Less than the probability Of Someone Monstrorous.

e) The Probability of SomeOne asking a supplementary Before You and You Left Wondering ( HOW ???) is very very high.

f) The Probability Of the You Not Getting a Rickshaw, Lift Not Working, Trains Getting Late also increases drastically during the days of examinations.

g) The Probability Of THe Person Coming For an Exam Without Bathing is On the Higher Sides If They Come From a Certain Place.( Read Between The Lines)

h) The Probability Of The Average Loser (The Median Student) troubling, whispering you for the question you dont know is at its all time high.

i) The Most Sought After Book In The Library Will Be Gone Long Back( WAKE UP SID).

j) The probability of your High School Crush or College Crush Coming Online On the day of exam is 50% ( Again depends if you have a geeky crush or a non- geeky crush, a localite or non-localite) . So start Studying And Dont Wait In Anticipation.

K) THE MOST IMPORTANT LAW: NEXT TIME SE SAB KUCH PEHLE SE KAROONGA.

My Tryst With Poetry --- Widout U

Widout u ... Mumbai falls asleep;

Widout u ... The roads are empty;

Widout u ... The Sun cant be bright;

Widout u ... The moonlight not white;

Widout u ... Cloud disappears slowly;

Widout u ... Trees forget the winds;

Widout u ... There ain't no stars;

Widout u ... Night is chagrined;

Widout u ... The rains I detest;

Widout u ... My joys disappear in thin air;

Widout u ... Hours are days;

Widout u ... Casablanca seems boring;

Widout u ... Its the lonely walk;

Widout u ... Thoughts prevent me from going to bed;

Widout u ... I don’t distinguish the horizon ahead;

Widout u ... There are no heavens;

Widout u ... Time forgets it reasons;

Widout u ... Am afraid of the last day;

Widout u ... Haze conceals the splendid ocean;

Widout u ... I don’t figure or picture anything pleasant;

Widout u ... I am wondering this ques @ dis moment;

When should i let the cat outta the bag...

I better don't post it here …Samaj Mein Aa Raha Hain ??

The Median Student

The Median Student

The median student (not the average topper, not the average loser, but the average, average guy in any classroom) is a funny species. What goes through our minds is idiosyncratic to our kind and if you are not one, you cannot appreciate it. So this blog is dedicated to those of you who fall under the "Average Joe in class" category.

The first few days of a new year or semester are always interesting. Everyone is smiling. The average topper is thrilled with the prospects of being introduced to things he probably already knows.He sits in class with that annoying smirk which Alexander might have had on his face when he found out that the next kingdom he planned to conquer was ruled by the most honourable yet debile kings.

The average loser is smiling. Semesters don't matter to him. His is a case of bliss induced by ignorance. And he knows how to enjoy it. He knows that its going to be another semester of trying to learn things that he will not learn. Another semester of being in a trance in the classroom. He knows it's funny. And he smiles.

The median student is also smiling but it's an uncomfortable smile. I will tell you why. We are glad that the first few days will be spent on pointless things in class. New subjects will be introduced and basics will be run over. We feel like kings. "Hey! I know this!". We are happy that things seem easy. We are mildly happy that we may come across things that sounded so cool when others spoke about them. We know that we will be introduced to things we've probably only heard of. We know that we can cling to most of what's being said in class but we always need the "kind average topper's (an endangered species)" helping hand soon. We are worried that shortly we will write tests. Again, a time when we seem happy just before the test and disappointed soon after we start writing it (Of course the other groups are happy before and after). We know that "I think I'll do well this time" feeling too well to fall for it again. We know that we will punch the keys on calculators over and over thinking we have made mistakes in keying the number in.We believe that this semester is going to be different from all but we also know that the odds of that happening are pretty grim. We know it all.

It's not easy being the median student. It takes one to empathise. And I feel sorry for all my fellowmen. As for the rest of you...stay where you are. The grass IS greener there,,,,but as someone puts it .....the grass is greener on the both the sides..but i am sitting on the fence...

Credits: http://adamsnuts.blogspot.com/

I Was Thinking The Other Day...

( Stumbled Upon This Quote Some Where....Incredibly True!!)

I was thinking the other day about how the most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time.
What do you get at the end of it? A death. What is that, a bonus?

Well... I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You go to school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last 9 months floating...then you finish off as an orgasm!

... now that's a ride. ... oh yea!