The Urge to Fit In

The Fit In Culture.

Some call it peer pressure, while others call it compromise. A few others call it adjustment, broad-mindedness, being open to change. All in all we all want to be accepted by the society, our peers, our friends, friends of friends and so on. In one word we want to "Fit In" and not be sidelined.

Fit In culture Instances

1) How many times have we laughed at a particular scene in a movie, (even if we don't find it funny) just because others do and we don't want them to think  "He is too dumb/ naive to comprehend the double-meaning words" or " He doesn't have a taste for funny films"

My thought: If only we could ban the word LOL. Everything is LOL these days. Damn

2) How many of us have had the courage to refuse spending 2000 bucks on the entry fee to club, knowing that there is hardly anything inside that will interest you ? Be it the blaring music or the hard drinks( for those of you who are a teetotalers)

My thought: For me the idea of having fun, goes beyond hanging out at the bar, being drunk, and clubbing.
So don't tell me that " Tu abhi yeh sab nahi karega to kab karega " Kabhi nahi. Karna hi nahi hai !


3) Ahh ! Uanchester Mnited Rocks !We are the champions !
Ask that dude to count 8 players of the team and he will succumb at 5. Ask him about the Busby babes and he'd think I am talking about some Pop band !

My thought: Not that I am against EPL, SPL. But dude can you name 5 Indians who have won medals at the Olympics ?

4) I got this new Gamsung Salaxy S |||. What operating system does it have ? So how is it different from S-2 The answer will be : " I don't care much about that stuff. It looks good. And it is a good show off on how technologically inclined I am and how updated I am "

My thought: I am a geek. I love technology. So if the plain reason your product is better than mine is because of the price tag associated with it , than sorry my friend borrow some brains and judging capacity.

5) " Dont tell me dude. You haven't seen How I met your Brother ?? Man, what are you ? A ascetic in the Himalayas or a nomad living in the Jungles of South East Asia "

My thought:  I don't want to know How did you meet my mother, father or brother or sister. Given a choice, I would never want you to meet any of them. Why is HIMYM prescribed in the syllabus ? or is it the next most important thing after Air and Water !

6) " What you rejected a job at Soldman Gachs to start up. Are you crazy ? Dont you intend to Pay off your loans ? Ah or you have a  richie rich dad ?

My thought: Man he has other interests. He wants to be a guitarist or a IAS officer. Let him chose his own way ? Who are you ? Nostradamus 36th Avatar to suggest ?


Again, don't get me wrong here. There is nothing wrong in trying to gel with the crowd, accept their views and try and find commonalities. But to change yourself completely so that others can accept you, is something that irks my nerve.

What happens with such fake behaviour is

- You lose yourself and become a materialistic, a mere showoff
- You tend to look down upon people who don't share similarities with you, rather than accept the fact that they have a different belief, have been brought up in a different way, and that they have their own principles by which they live by

One of my professors in college had shared a brilliant thought with us . He would say " Be a rebel. But don't be a revolutionary". Gandhi, Mandela all were rebels. They didn't take anything lying down or on its face value.

So you don't need to comply with everything the World says. Remember the The World is pretending.
Someone has rightly said" Those who matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter"
And lastly, as said in by santos in Satsang " Aag jeva thavu. Paani jeva nai " ( Be like the fire, not like water. Ref: Add colour in water and it changes it colour, but add colour in fire and the colour disappears"

Another Turning Point

So that time has come again. Never expected it to come so soon.
But the twist in the road is here and I am finally ready for my Giant Leap.

These are the lines that I have personally loved. They are from a song Sabka Katega by Bodhi Tree ( The XLRI band )


What brought us together might remain unspoken,
What held us together might be worn off and broken.
Even if your way was different as I felt was mine,
Now I want our paths to cross waiting for my time.

I have always used these lines for the special people who have made a huge difference to my life.
The count currently stands at three.

Be Proud of Your Accomplishments, Not Your Affiliations - Harvard Business Review article

HBR is known for coming up with masterpieces. Read an interesting article which somehow relates to what I had earlier posted and felt about   "Giant Leap of Faith ". Sharing it here !

Stuart stood up confidently and addressed the group: "I studied Art History at Yale, worked at Bain for two years, then Morgan Stanley. After finishing my Stanford MBA, I took a banking job at Goldman Sachs."

I'd asked him and a small group of smart individuals to describe their professional achievements. When Stuart sat down, the others followed in much the same pattern, proudly rattling off their personal laundry lists of the prestigious companies they'd worked for and the top-tier universities they'd attended.

Had I left it there, this would have seemed like a collection of well-oiled, talented superstars living comfortably at the top of their professions. But as I delved deeper, I found out that they weren't comfortable at all, and their flashy affiliations were no guarantee that they'd actually accomplish more than anyone else. One said, "I promised myself I'd move overseas, but the Blackstone brand in New York is just so strong. I had to sign." Said another, "The work is meaningless compared to the policy think tank I wanted to join. But everyone knows Morgan Stanley, and it'll open up so many doors later on in life." The same patterns surfaced: exciting visions sabotaged by the desire to be associated with well-known institutions.

If their goal was to stand out by joining these organizations, they'd pursued entirely the wrong strategy. Traditionally, associating yourself with a prestigious brand did wonders for your career because of the signalling effect. Employees could credibly convey information about themselves by gaining experience at certain companies and acquiring academic credentials. If you got into Unilever, you must be a good marketer. If MIT admitted you, you're a high-potential scientist. But a core assumption of job-market signalling theory is asymmetric information between employers and prospective employees. In other words, employers have to rely on imperfect signals as ways to glean information about potential hires. In today's world, this assumption no longer holds.

Ironically, proudly flaunting your affiliations — company, university, or club — will only make you more of a commodity: another banker, another Ivy League graduate, another know-it-all scientist. Instead of just resume-gardening, distinguishing yourself through real, tangible accomplishments shows the world what you've actually done while de-emphasizing who accepted you into their organization. The latter is a superficial vanity device designed to boost confidence; the former is a validated, objective measure of your skills and experience. The relentless focus on "what" is how people without bulge-bracket work experience or Ivy League degrees are beating out those obsessed with the glitz, glamour, and false safety of their memberships, associations, connections, and relationships.

Here's why prestige matters less than ever:

1. Prestigious companies have suffered. The Financial Crisis tainted the reputations of some of the world's largest corporations — from big banks to blue chips like General Motors. Newscorp and other recent corporate scandals have only fueled existing doubts. Signalling loses relevance to the extent that these organizations no longer confer credibility onto the individuals that join them.

2. Social media pierces the corporate veil. As the adoption of Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook continues to grow, we're able to effectively separate the individual from the organization. Consumer internet platforms like these allow people to publish their output independent of their organizations, giving everyone a direct lens into an individual's abilities and passions. This improves the underlying quality of information available, further reducing the need to signal the "old" way.

3. New tools exist to accurately assess skills. If you're a data scientist, you can compete onKaggle against a global cadre of experts in your field. Rather than relying on your college diploma, we have a better way to test your programing skills: Codecadamy. And if you're coveting a social media role, a high Klout score might seal the deal. These new tools are able to measure people's skills with precision, making college degrees and brand-name companies look like blunt approximations in comparison.

America's largest companies and most prestigious universities deserve much respect. But being hired or admitted to these institutions is an opportunity to accomplish things, not the accomplishment itself. Therefore, a prudent strategy favors accumulating real accomplishments — revenues earned, clients transformed, or lives changed — in spite of any affiliations you may have.

As traditional notions of prestige are fast losing relevancy, we should all focus more on creating real value. If you're lucky enough to have attended a great college or worked for a top company, you have an obligation to turn these affiliations into accomplishments. If you're not one of the privileged few, you're no longer at a disadvantage. Stand tall, because it's mastering the process of consistently delivering results that will truly distinguish you in the end.

Some Learning or Causes of Insomnia I should say

- If you have given it all and it ain't happening, look away. May be there are better things in store
- If it doesn't feel like, then it is not worth giving it a shot.
- If that person doesn't give a damn, start giving a damn too. Tit for tat works
- Shrewdness was a despicable word in school. In life, it is worth gold
- Hanging by the moment sounds good in the song. In reality, it SUCKS.

Giant Leap of Faith

Giant Leap of Faith

I know this isn't going to be the easier route to take. In fact, I don't know whether it is a route or not. I understand that I am a traveller, but like every other travller, I don't want to go the wrong way. Guess, I have already travelled once that way. and come out.

So here I have the 8-lane Express highway for me( KPMG). Although, crowded I am sure  someday it will take me to my destination  or at least have a direct link( C'mon its the express way !!)

And this other road, is some road I always wanted to travel. Nah. It doesn't go parallel to the expressway
 ( So I can be sure that we'll end at the same destination)

This road is a test. You'd hardly see anyone travel by that road. Now I know that English poet Robert Frost who said that he took the road less travelled and that is what made all the difference. But hey Seinfeld said that "At times the road less travelled is less traveled because of a reason"

So. Lets Analyse. If I choose B, then I know I am taking a risk. But then Hey. Who doesn't take risks in life. Although, I can fall flat by going that way, but I'll have the feeling that OK. I tried something new. I mean imagine, if I would have taken up Engineering at Gujarat( safe bet). Would I be where I am today ?
If I had simply been Happy with Accenture ( Not fought for Grail) ?
Am I trying to console myself ?

You don't know. You might have done excellent in the other case as well. May be better. May be you'd be more satisfied.

For Now. I think I have the risk taking appetite in me. I have a family to support me. And Hey. I have age on my side. I have no responsibilities except to be responsible for myself. No debts. Except the monthly credit card bills ;-)  3 years down the line, who know I might not have the same freedom ? Who knows I might need to have a stable job ?
I mean even if things don't turn out the way they I expect them to be. It will be my decision. And I'd be happy that I gave it a shot.


I think I should not let this opportunity go. We have BAPA. Hes the one who guides us.  Would you have ever been able to get pass all this without his aashirwaad ? No Way. At each step he has shown you the way. And aagad paaan karse.

Handover you chariot to him. He will steer it. In fact he does.

P.S. If Only we had Google Maps for our lives !!